Would you do it? (With a friend)

The Wife of an ex employee of mine used to do this to me a lot. I hated it, very uncomfortable situation.
I think she may have seen it as a challenge due to my well known attitude to relationships. She even started turning up at the house when Hubby was working away from home and even accused me of deliberately sending him on Long jobs so we could be together!
In the end my friend and ex regular SP came to stay and happened to be snogging my face off while wearing just her “Fuck me” heels when the delusional girl turned up :lol:
This put her off for a while but she soon started again. In the end my Daughter stepped in and had words with her then not long after her and hubby Left. Such a shame as he was a nice lad and good worker who I liked a lot. I keep thinking I should have had a quiet word with him about it at the beginning but he was infatuated with her and I couldn’t bring myself to wrecking his life.
so hard to deal with these situations, if I was a young fit handsome bloke I could understand it better but as I’m definitely none of those things WTF!
Some women just love the challenge. My ex best friend certainly did. She wanted all of her friends partners attention. Loved knowing people wanted her.

The things I found out she did after I split with my ex. Her contributing to one of the many reasons for the split are just down right low. Needless to say she is no longer a friend and I’m surprised she still has friends. I lost a couple of friends over this and now don’t see them as being an escort, I obviously can’t be trusted around their partners, yet they’re still friends with her :unknown::lol:
 
What a good comment, and rings true with me.
When I did my nurse training I made a very special female friend. We never, and have never in over 30 years, given each other more than a hug and a peck on the cheek.
I am godfather to all 3 of her kids, and go to gigs with her ex-husband.

I have honestly never considered her as a potential partner, and I don’t think she has either.
That’s so lovely 😍
 
Some women just love the challenge. My ex best friend certainly did. She wanted all of her friends partners attention. Loved knowing people wanted her.

The things I found out she did after I split with my ex. Her contributing to one of the many reasons for the split are just down right low. Needless to say she is no longer a friend and I’m surprised she still has friends. I lost a couple of friends over this and now don’t see them as being an escort, I obviously can’t be trusted around their partners, yet they’re still friends with her :unknown::lol:
things parents do tae wains eh.....?
 
I have almost did it once.. (all of my friends except 2 of them did that to me when i was younger), but then i realized that it's not worth it.. He's always been my friend and i didn't wanted to ruin that friendship relation only because I was in a bad state of mind and judging too fast...
 
I'm in the "don't go near complicated unnecessary drama,there's enough dick about" gang!
It's already difficult having friends that accept what we do sometimes, I definitely don't need to give anyone any reason to watch their partners or exs/friends or back up any of the stereotypical assumptions people have in the first place
 
Today in many parts of the world it’s “International friends day” all lovely yes. I want to go at it from a different angle. Would you go with a friend? An ex’s friend or eek, your current partners friend? Or have you already?

I was out for food last week with my daughters and saw and had a chat with my ex husband’s friend. I have to say he looked hot. So many reasons I wouldn’t go there. My ex being the main one, as although he did the dirty on me with my friend, I don’t work that way and we’re getting on well at the minute.

Would you?
I thought this was going to be about seeing around the Blind Date door and getting a big surprise surprise ( sorry, that's bad ), then deciding whether the booking should still go ahead. Never happened to me, I'd be tempted at that stage if she was attractive unless she was a very close friend. Anyway, that's probably for another thread.

On this topic there are maybe a lot of specifics that will sway the decision. How close is the friendship between your ex and this other person, how long have you been separated from your ex, how serious was your relationship and how/who ended it? How will your ex likely respond and is that worth it ... some won't care either way, others will. Will there be baggage in terms of what your ex may already have told this friend about you or concerns that they may discuss you together? Are you just after sex or a deeper relationship?

Sounds lie you aren't going to risk it. Is your ex's personality the main reason or more that you'd prefer a relationship from scratch without the ties? Under the circumstances you describe your ex would have no grounds for complaint whatever you chose.
 
No, I don't touch exes of my mates. Never been tempted to as I consider them like sisters.

I don't even look at my mates sisters (male and female).

This is one of the only rules I have when it comes to shenanigans.
I guess we all have our own way of assessing things and if that helps you to avoid potential discord with your friends then it serves a purpose. Personally I don't understand how someone will see their mate's exes as sisters though - beyond being no go - I mean, for me it would be a case of perhaps fancying them but resisting which is a very different feeling to with a sister ( or maybe a very close female friend ). If your friendship with a mate ended would their exes then become ' fair game ' again?
 
I thought this was going to be about seeing around the Blind Date door and getting a big surprise surprise ( sorry, that's bad ), then deciding whether the booking should still go ahead. Never happened to me, I'd be tempted at that stage if she was attractive unless she was a very close friend. Anyway, that's probably for another thread.

On this topic there are maybe a lot of specifics that will sway the decision. How close is the friendship between your ex and this other person, how long have you been separated from your ex, how serious was your relationship and how/who ended it? How will your ex likely respond and is that worth it ... some won't care either way, others will. Will there be baggage in terms of what your ex may already have told this friend about you or concerns that they may discuss you together? Are you just after sex or a deeper relationship?

Sounds lie you aren't going to risk it. Is your ex's personality the main reason or more that you'd prefer a relationship from scratch without the ties? Under the circumstances you describe your ex would have no grounds for complaint whatever you chose.
I guess I’m looking for a deeper relationship, which certainly wouldn’t be with this guy, for so many reasons. He isn’t settling down material. I’m friendly with his ex, I like her and wouldn’t want to hurt her. Also my ex can get nasty and I have no idea what he is capable of. Plus a number of other reasons. It was just fleeting thought really and in reality, it definitely wouldn’t be a good idea.

Like many have said, no point complicating things when there are so many other options put there. Although I’m yet to find one :D
 
I guess we all have our own way of assessing things and if that helps you to avoid potential discord with your friends then it serves a purpose. Personally I don't understand how someone will see their mate's exes as sisters though - beyond being no go - I mean, for me it would be a case of perhaps fancying them but resisting which is a very different feeling to with a sister ( or maybe a very close female friend ). If your friendship with a mate ended would their exes then become ' fair game ' again?
Very few people get into my inner circle. So if you manage to get in, you are very important to me and are an extension of my family. Ergo, your family becomes my family and I'll treat them accordingly.

So, romantic entanglement does not register at all and I don't think of them sexually.
 
I once spent a few weeks going out with a mate's ex. Soon found out why he'd dumped her although she was a reasonable shag!
That same mate once went with the younger sister of one of his exes!
 
Some women just love the challenge. My ex best friend certainly did. She wanted all of her friends partners attention. Loved knowing people wanted her.

The things I found out she did after I split with my ex. Her contributing to one of the many reasons for the split are just down right low. Needless to say she is no longer a friend and I’m surprised she still has friends. I lost a couple of friends over this and now don’t see them as being an escort, I obviously can’t be trusted around their partners, yet they’re still friends with her :unknown::lol:
I don’t get it. My Daughter and my ex SP friend think she just saw Pound notes as I’m a mid 50’s single guy but she had a good partner who was young fit and earning good money, who knows, I’m just glad to be free of it.
sounds like your friends need to have a word with themselves and think about who’s the real problem in that situation as I think they’ve probably got it arse about face if you pardon the expression.
dam it I’m thinking about your Arse now!
Apologies for my dirty mind :dash:
 
Today in many parts of the world it’s “International friends day” all lovely yes. I want to go at it from a different angle. Would you go with a friend? An ex’s friend or eek, your current partners friend? Or have you already?

I was out for food last week with my daughters and saw and had a chat with my ex husband’s friend. I have to say he looked hot. So many reasons I wouldn’t go there. My ex being the main one, as although he did the dirty on me with my friend, I don’t work that way and we’re getting on well at the minute.

Would you?
Friend - Yes, but ONLY if I was sure it wouldn't end up ruining the friendship. Made the mistake before of hitting on a friend and ending up losing the friendship over it
Ex's friend - No chance.
Current partner's friend - question is irrelevant. Don't have one, don't see any likelihood of having one. I know if the question were to be put to my ex, she would be forced to say "yes".
 
With close female friends, absolutely not. I have four very close female friends and although I can appreciate their broader appeal I have zero sexual thoughts about them. It's the only way I can have the intimacy of very close friendship without it becoming confusing. Also, if you've known someone for 5+ years and nothings happened there are generally good reasons for that. Let's say I know why I love them, but I also know why a romantic relationship wouldn't work.

With a current partner's friend, again absolutely not. In a relationship I'm monogamous unless it's mutually agreed otherwise. I know this one as I've had several opportunities to be sexual with previous partners' friends; girl code my arse, women are incredibly competitive with each other. Even in non-monogamous situations close friends bring a dynamic and effects that would endure long after any fun. So I keep any additional playmates distant from my primary relationship.

With an ex's friends generally not, but it would depend on a few factors like the time period elapsed since thebreakup, the circumstances of the breakup, the quality of my current relationship with the ex, etc. It would need something a lot more substantial than just physical attraction, but if there was the possibility of something more profound then I think it unfair that the past should have an absolute veto on the future.
 
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