Who should take the initiative during a booking ; escort or customer ?

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15,241
#1
I always seem to be the one who has to take the initiative and say exactly what is to happen during my bookings ; there is very rarely any spontaneity on the part of the escorts in terms of initiating activities or even modifying them.In contrast , I have read many reviews on punting forums in which the escorts are proactive and make things feel like more of a mutual interaction and that they are putting their individual touch on proceedings.

I am in no doubt that I am at least partly responsible for this as I am fairly standoffish and probably give the impression that I would be uncomfortable with advances , so they leave it in my hands.TBH I am uncertain of which style I would prefer , so how is the escort to make the call ?

Of course I am sure that many escorts will tailor their forwardness based on an assessment of the particular client before them ; as in my case.

The question is to both escorts and their clientele ; in you experience what is the usual balance as regards the control of proceedings and what is the ideal for you ?
 
S

Sophie&Lola

Guest
#2
I always seem to be the one who has to take the initiative and say exactly what is to happen during my bookings ; there is very rarely any spontaneity on the part of the escorts in terms of initiating activities or even modifying them.In contrast , I have read many reviews on punting forums in which the escorts are proactive and make things feel like more of a mutual interaction and that they are putting their individual touch on proceedings.

I am in no doubt that I am at least partly responsible for this as I am fairly standoffish and probably give the impression that I would be uncomfortable with advances , so they leave it in my hands.TBH I am uncertain of which style I would prefer , so how is the escort to make the call ?

Of course I am sure that many escorts will tailor their forwardness based on an assessment of the particular client before them ; as in my case.

The question is to both escorts and their clientele ; in you experience what is the usual balance as regards the control of proceedings and what is the ideal for you ?
Hello, we are very new to this forum!
We love to take control during bookings however we always make sure we take a small amount of time to discuss with people if this is what they want xx
 
#3
unless he has stated specifically beforehand what he wants, then its just a matter of going with the flow, starting off with dfk while softly caressing etc ..
 
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#4
I am often surprised at how little control that escorts take, even when I encourage them at the beginning. I don't tell my barber how to cut my hair - just what end result I want. (Ok not perfect analogy). I guess it is because it is about my pleasure - if she decided on 55 minutes of RO, I guess I might not be happy. But overall I agree with the OP, I wish escorts would take more control. I like it when they say, 'go on Steely Dan, fuck me now'.
 
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#5
I always seem to be the one who has to take the initiative and say exactly what is to happen during my bookings ; there is very rarely any spontaneity on the part of the escorts in terms of initiating activities or even modifying them.In contrast , I have read many reviews on punting forums in which the escorts are proactive and make things feel like more of a mutual interaction and that they are putting their individual touch on proceedings.

I am in no doubt that I am at least partly responsible for this as I am fairly standoffish and probably give the impression that I would be uncomfortable with advances , so they leave it in my hands.TBH I am uncertain of which style I would prefer , so how is the escort to make the call ?

Of course I am sure that many escorts will tailor their forwardness based on an assessment of the particular client before them ; as in my case.

The question is to both escorts and their clientele ; in you experience what is the usual balance as regards the control of proceedings and what is the ideal for you ?
Its up to the punter who takes the initiative as him paying, it helps to communicate what you require in my experience, WGs aren't mind readers.

I usually prefer to take the initiative.
 
#6
Obviously it depends on what you want or hope for from the meeting. I never have any difficulty because, having told her in advance what I would like her to wear, I simply can`t wait to undress her, and everything then seems to flow very easily and naturally from there.
 
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#7
Unless someone is after a specific scenario I just go with the flow, I make sure I incorperate the little things they have checked that I do, sometimes I throw in a few more little things, sometimes I dont but I dont do mechanical or set routines. Unless of course someone wants to just lay on the bed like a log for a 45 minute blow job, sometimes you can try with some guys and they just dont really want it to be that interactive.
 
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#8
Its up to the punter who takes the initiative as him paying, it helps to communicate what you require in my experience, WGs aren't mind readers.

I usually prefer to take the initiative.
Yes it would be nice to have hints from guys but at the end of the day we have mouths, we can ask what they are in the mood for if they are not forthcoming with any action, also some guys want to be lead, sometimes nervous or a bit shy or just really not sure how to conduct themselves with you if they are fairly new or have been seeing the same lady for the last 15 years, they are suddenly way out of their comfort zone. Not everyone has your confidence Smiths. Ive had guys standing before me shaking and breaking out in a sweat who suddenly are unable to undo a couple of buttons on my blouse because they are all thumbs from nerves. Just the way it is
 
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#10
Unless someone is after a specific scenario I just go with the flow, I make sure I incorperate the little things they have checked that I do, sometimes I throw in a few more little things, sometimes I dont but I dont do mechanical or set routines. Unless of course someone wants to just lay on the bed like a log for a 45 minute blow job, sometimes you can try with some guys and they just dont really want it to be that interactive.
I personally don't understand why anybody would just lay there or do not want to interact,sounds like a waste of time to me.
 
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#12
I like the WG to take the initiative during a meet, but make that known in the comms beforehand, so we are both clear from the outset.
 
#13
Typically they will try to take the lead with me but I also usually try to meet them half way. Maybe this is because I tend not take risks on inexperienced SPs with limited reviews, so it could be a consequence of my choice of confident SPs rather than a specific reaction to me.

It also depends on mood. I find with repeat bookings an expecation can be set in the mind of the SP about how you are going to act and sometimes if you deviate from that and act differently because you're in a diffrent mood it can surprise or even disappoint them a bit. Before this happened I assumed WGs didn't care how I acted as long as I stayed within and respected their boundaries.
 
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#14
In my experience, the slightly more mature ladies (30+) often seem more willing to participate and mention their own preferences. The trick is to request one or two activities that you prefer and then part way through ask what the lady enjoys. I guess after a busy day, an honest reply would be a glass of wine and a snooze.

But the fun thing is, the ladies always manage to surprise me with their variety of preferences.
For me it's a two way street, I get more enjoyment out of a punt, if I feel I'm putting something back in return.
 
#16
I do tend to take control in most of my meetings, but with my current favourite girl we do tend to have a bit of a tussle over who is taking control. I find this brings quite a bit of sexual tension to the meet and it can turn into a bit off a wrestle. All in a good way which is a lot of fun.
 
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#17
I do tend to take control in most of my meetings, but with my current favourite girl we do tend to have a bit of a tussle over who is taking control. I find this brings quite a bit of sexual tension to the meet and it can turn into a bit off a wrestle. All in a good way which is a lot of fun.
Had that happen. Didn't like it at the time, but smiled about it afterwards.
 
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#18
Yes it would be nice to have hints from guys but at the end of the day we have mouths, we can ask what they are in the mood for if they are not forthcoming with any action, also some guys want to be lead, sometimes nervous or a bit shy or just really not sure how to conduct themselves with you if they are fairly new or have been seeing the same lady for the last 15 years, they are suddenly way out of their comfort zone. Not everyone has your confidence Smiths. Ive had guys standing before me shaking and breaking out in a sweat who suddenly are unable to undo a couple of buttons on my blouse because they are all thumbs from nerves. Just the way it is
Indeed I have seen some myself at parties over the years, scared to death, I was bricking it myself before my first party so understand it.
 
#19
As a naturally dominant person I always take the lead, generally (not always) seeking out submissive girls.
I would say as a fairly dominant person as well I have had plenty of experiences and relationships with submissive women but as I've got older I have come to realise I actually prefer a strong women to push against and stand up to me.
 
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#20
Indeed I have seen some myself at parties over the years, scared to death, I was bricking it myself before my first party so understand it.
I was bricking it at my first party too but only because it was an anal party. Afterwards I figured if I could survive that till the end I could survive anything lol. Wouldnt do it again though. Once was definatley enough
 
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#21
I think there has to be a bit of give and take on the first meeting if its looking bad in the first few minutes it more often than not ends up bad! i think a little bit of mutual chemistry needs to take place by both to make a good meeting, some blokes just go full steam ahead thinking I am paying so I will call the shots and demand this and that, not a good start imo, I like to make a few jokes and chit chat to break the ice but as has been said the girls that have done this job a while can put you at ease with in minutes and make it a good booking that said its been some time since I met someone new in this game, so Scarlet Rose will be the next challenge me thinks although with a bit of help!!
 
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#22
I just go with the flow
That's exactly what I do. There's no hard and fast rules, each girl I've visited is different. Some jump on you the minute you walk through the door and some can be almost shy and I then have to make the first move. Thats the beauty of this hobby/pastime, it's different every time.
 
#23
I think there has to be a bit of give and take on the first meeting if its looking bad in the first few minutes it more often than not ends up bad! i think a little bit of mutual chemistry needs to take place by both to make a good meeting, some blokes just go full steam ahead thinking I am paying so I will call the shots and demand this and that, not a good start imo, I like to make a few jokes and chit chat to break the ice but as has been said the girls that have done this job a while can put you at ease with in minutes and make it a good booking that said its been some time since I met someone new in this game, so Scarlet Rose will be the next challenge me thinks although with a bit of help!!
Totally agree with give and take,chemistry and also mutual respect.
Scarlett is stunning and .really nice and a duo with 'Tori' and 'Scarlett',a Blonde and a brunette is a massive fantasy of mine and would be great.
 
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#24
I'm very new and inexperienced in this world and would prefer the WG to take control and use her experience and put me at ease. Maybe with a bit more experience I may gain enough confidence to take more of a lead.
 
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#27
Totally agree with give and take,chemistry and also mutual respect.
Scarlett is stunning and .really nice and a duo with 'Tori' and 'Scarlett',a Blonde and a brunette is a massive fantasy of mine and would be great.
As I say had a few duos with Tori and the thing is she is not one just to show up and act, if she does not feel a connection with the girl and is not naturally turned on then she just will not do it! she does genially have to enjoy her time with the girl that is what has kept her at the top of her game for so long as its never an act she just could not do it!

I hope she does not mind me mentioning this but i remember her calling me way in the past and saying she is going to work with a new girl that has not done duo's before although she had slept with her and she was great so would I join them to see how she is at doing a FFM booking to see how things go, and wow what a thing to do
 
#28
As I say had a few duos with Tori and the thing is she is not one just to show up and act, if she does not feel a connection with the girl and is not naturally turned on then she just will not do it! she does genially have to enjoy her time with the girl that is what has kept her at the top of her game for so long as its never an act she just could not do it!

I hope she does not mind me mentioning this but i remember her calling me way in the past and saying she is going to work with a new girl that has not done duo's before although she had slept with her and she was great so would I join them to see how she is at doing a FFM booking to see how things go, and wow what a thing to do
It sounds like I'm in for a treat then,I can't wait, lol
 
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#29
unless he has stated specifically beforehand what he wants, then its just a matter of going with the flow, starting off with dfk while softly caressing etc ..
I do usually arrive at bookings having only spent a matter of seconds on the phone to the girl arranging the meeting's time and length and getting their address details ; I have never discussed how I wish the meet itself to proceed.

I like the style you , and Jessica in reply 25 , describe.You are not going in all guns blazing but are initiating intimacy , creating a connection and taking an active role.Actions like these throughout the meet would , for me , give the impression that the escort was more involved and interested in what was going on ; not necessarily taking a dominant role , but making it feel less of a clinical exercise and more of a mutual experience.In the majority of my bookings this has not happened at all ; there has been no kisses or touches , even the most innocuous , that has not been instigated by me, and this prevents the creation of a GFE type atmosphere or even the illusion that they find me remotely attractive.

As mentioned in my opening post I probably do not have the most welcoming body language and I do have a lack of sexual instinct , but as the escorts are in the professional role I would expect them to have some idea of how best to handle things.I am friendly and polite when talking with them and I am not at all intimidating so those are not the reasons.Whilst I do get a feeling of genuine friendliness from the chat afterwards , the physical / sexual side of things feels very cold and detached because of the level of passivity.
 
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#30
It depends. Some clients like to lead the way while others like to be led. It's all about reading the client and knowing what he would prefer
 
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#31
For a first meeting 9/10 times I will e-mail or txt stating exactly what I want, the scenario and the specific services I want. Their ability to actually have read this and do what I asked is a deciding factor in whether I'll ever visit them again.
 
#32
I do usually arrive at bookings having only spent a matter of seconds on the phone to the girl arranging the meeting's time and length and getting their address details ; I have never discussed how I wish the meet itself to proceed.

I like the style you , and Jessica in reply 25 , describe.You are not going in all guns blazing but are initiating intimacy , creating a connection and taking an active role.Actions like these throughout the meet would , for me , give the impression that the escort was more involved and interested in what was going on ; not necessarily taking a dominant role , but making it feel less of a clinical exercise and more of a mutual experience.In the majority of my bookings this has not happened at all ; there has been no kisses or touches , even the most innocuous , that has not been instigated by me, and this prevents the creation of a GFE type atmosphere or even the illusion that they find me remotely attractive.

As mentioned in my opening post I probably do not have the most welcoming body language and I do have a lack of sexual instinct , but as the escorts are in the professional role I would expect them to have some idea of how best to handle things.I am friendly and polite when talking with them and I am not at all intimidating so those are not the reasons.Whilst I do get a feeling of genuine friendliness from the chat afterwards , the physical / sexual side of things feels very cold and detached because of the level of passivity.
oh that's no use, I'm a touchy feely person, the cold detached I have encountered twice max, first time I was naive & went through with it but felt horrid for hours afterwards,

2nd time when the guy came in saying want owo but don't touch me or let your body touch me as pro's are disgusting I nearly dislocated his shoulder chucking him out

when a guy comes in I want him to feel special
 
#33
I book different wgs for different things but generally I like it if she takes the initiative as it gives me the option to take it back, or just go with the flow.

I had one wg who said "this is your hour and you can do whatever you like". Brilliant I thought, and she was good to her word, but I had to ask for everything rather than her initiate anything and there was absolutely no spontaneity. We ticked a lot of 'likes' that day but I left feeling like I had 'used' her. That's what punting is I suppose, but I was disappointed.
 
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#35
Whatever feels natural. I tend to ask them what they want to do whilst sidling up to them - putting the power in their hands whilst being active about making a move...
That is exactly what I like, having a chat at the beginning but being sidled up to, there is a certain magic for a guy as the girl intimates that she wants to move along..... oooo goosepimples everywhere at the thought.:yahoo:
 
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#36
I understand that a girl doesn't want to dictate too much, but there's absolutely nothing sexier than a girl who lies on the bed and opens her legs or gets on her hands and knees and offers her rear and says "Lick my Pussy (Please is optional) !"

I'm down there like a shot!:yahoo:
 
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#37
I assess every booking accordingly. This has to be ascertained rather quickly, body language, is he reticent or forthcoming etc. Personally l like to be led but if he is a bit shy, slow of the mark or waiting for me to take the lead then that is my role in that particular booking.
I had a booking recently, young guy, full of viv and verve, as they tend to be. Became a bit too aggressive for my liking, no request had been made for this, and had it been, would have been refused. Don't mind with somebody I trust, but a complete stranger? No. Any way as he got aggressive I did too. Every now and then I would turn the tables. I just couldn't let him think he had the upper hand, and so gave back as good as I got. Bugger loved it. Keeps pestering me now to see him on his way to work. I think I have the measure of him now but you never know.
 
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#38
When I first started I needed the girl to take the lead - I was too inexperienced and too nervous to do anything else.

Now that I'm older and more experienced, I like either to go with the flow (now in a relaxed way - no nervousness) or be the one to take the initiative - or, occasionally, take control if the escort is submissive.
 
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#39
My best punts were when both punter and WG were equal bedfellows. Although there was one great punt of mine where the WG took on a dominant role that completely turned me on.
 
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#40
for me my best experiences have been where it feels like a 'go with the flow' sharing of initiative for about 3/4 of the punt, but i can easily work in a couple of activities i pre-planned where i can take full control and be a bit physically dominant.

ps. nice one sonny crockett for reviving these old threads, enjoying rereading them:drinks:
 
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#42
A girl I had seen a few times text me before our next arranged meeting asking if I had any special requests or did I just want to leave it to her to surprise me - now that was exciting:rolleyes:
 
M

Mrblonde77

Guest
#43
I generally take control at the start. I'm not a Dom, but like an element of control to what we are doing. Is very sexy tho if a girl suddenly in heat of moment likes to take initiative and do things that turn her on, generally find this happens when they go on top. Plenty times suddenly grabbed arms and want to pin me down.
 
#44
Depends what I want out of a particular session. On the vast majority of occasions I want the lady to take the lead as I don't want to have to think about it. However there have been times mainly with RP that I have wanted to take the lead in a bookings.

Either way, I will have clearly communicated who I want to take the lead. As always imo good communication is the key to a good punt.
 
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#45
Very definitely the escort. It's her business, her schedule, all the onus is on her to dictate how the booking should be made. It's easier for both parties this way , anyway so I don't see the problem.
 
#46
Very definitely the escort. It's her business, her schedule, all the onus is on her to dictate how the booking should be made. It's easier for both parties this way , anyway so I don't see the problem.
The OP was about who takes the lead during a booking and not about arranging a booking I believe
 
#47
I am kind of passive in terms of asking for what I want in the bedroom with the lady, as I find it a little awkward asking for specifics.
As a result, I tend to ask within the e-mail beforehand if she could take the lead, along with anything in particular I want to do. Seems to work for the most part.
Certainly better than missing out on something I wanted because I was too shy/awkward to ask.
 
#48
I am kind of passive in terms of asking for what I want in the bedroom with the lady, as I find it a little awkward asking for specifics.
As a result, I tend to ask within the e-mail beforehand if she could take the lead, along with anything in particular I want to do. Seems to work for the most part.
Certainly better than missing out on something I wanted because I was too shy/awkward to ask.
Totally agree much better to ask than be even the slightest bit disappointed. Escorts are not mind readers after all.
 
#49
Ideally I'd like it to be as natural as possible but I suppose I do tend to take the lead a bit mostly non-verbally, a little like taking the lead when dancing I guess,
 
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#50
It's all about communication,
It's very hard for me to take the lead as I sub I need to be shown the way
I always ask a few questions to see if I'll be the right booking .
I can't take the lead just not in my nature to do so but I fling myself into being 100% obedient and 100% give my all :)
 
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