Things that make you go, nah!

Messages
3,537
#1
Afternoon sexy bitchaz, even though I'm in a monastery at the moment, I do peruse AW and here and save some ladies on my HL.

So was doing a similar exercise this morning and was pleased with a particular profile. Photos were great, she came across quite well, rates were reasonable and likes list was comprehensive. As I was just about to save the profile on the HL, I saw something on the profile that made me change my mind.

Was a bit disappointing as the Willy was keen on her but in her bid to promote herself, she decided to put other SPs down. This is something that irritates me immensely. So it got me thinking about the little things that stop you from seeing a SP/SS.

In my opinion, the obvious ones are BB, HS but we all have those "wee things" that make us go, nah.

So, time to share those things that make you go, nah!

My top 10
1. Elite/Courtesan/High Class/Better than such and such
2. Bad Experience (even if one needs to qualify before meeting. I.e. certain amount of feedback).
3. Photos with a dick in them
4. Spitting :vomit:
5. She insists on wearing the hooker uniform
6. TOWIE/Geordie Shore/Chav/Ned look
7. Deposits
8. Lying about enhancements, I can tell
9. Social Smoker (WTF does that mean)
10. Large Tattoos on lady lumps or around lady lumps

So, what are the things that make you go, nah!
 
Messages
1,761
#2
1. Pretending she is a nymphomaniac.
2. Hidden feedback (if she cannot even manage good feedback on the AW system where punters go overboard with effusiveness, then something is wrong)
3. Too much makeup.
4. Platform heels.
5. Messy/ dirty looking background in the photo's.
6. Overly business like - can come across as unfriendly.
 
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842
#5
In no particular order

"Party" Girl
Dick pics (bonus NO points for no condom on the dick if shagging)
Gallons of spunk flying around in pics
"Slight" Sp's who play to their very child-like look. Massive NOPE for me.
Loadsa tattoo's
ASCII art profile
No kissing
Lack of basic detail on the profile

There's bound to be plenty more (and some mentioned above) but thems the ones that spring to mind
 
Messages
1,432
#8
Afternoon sexy bitchaz, even though I'm in a monastery at the moment, I do peruse AW and here and save some ladies on my HL.

So was doing a similar exercise this morning and was pleased with a particular profile. Photos were great, she came across quite well, rates were reasonable and likes list was comprehensive. As I was just about to save the profile on the HL, I saw something on the profile that made me change my mind.

Was a bit disappointing as the Willy was keen on her but in her bid to promote herself, she decided to put other SPs down. This is something that irritates me immensely. So it got me thinking about the little things that stop you from seeing a SP/SS.

In my opinion, the obvious ones are BB, HS but we all have those "wee things" that make us go, nah.

So, time to share those things that make you go, nah!

My top 10
1. Elite/Courtesan/High Class/Better than such and such
2. Bad Experience (even if one needs to qualify before meeting. I.e. certain amount of feedback).
3. Photos with a dick in them
4. Spitting :vomit:
5. She insists on wearing the hooker uniform
6. TOWIE/Geordie Shore/Chav/Ned look
7. Deposits
8. Lying about enhancements, I can tell
9. Social Smoker (WTF does that mean)
10. Large Tattoos on lady lumps or around lady lumps

So, what are the things that make you go, nah!
More or less the same.
 
#10
I think I'll pick a random profile and say what I find wrong with it. I won't say which profile it is.

So I picked one which might have been a candidate: Positives: local, normal hourly rate, some feedback. Actually similar locale to my regular, same rate, about same age. Has the same "stupid" rating system too: 30 mins 80, 1hr 120, 1.5 hrs 200... Why make 1.5 hours more than 1.5 times an hour? With my reg I do 30 mins almost every booking and never do 90 mins. Longer bookings remain as £120 for each hour so no point making longer bookings.

Not a lot of words in the profile... so quite good on that albeit she addresses as "my baby boy". "I am a crazy lover who will always welcome you in sexy lingerie, high heels...".

Has a few photos in the gallery but the only one that shows her footwear properly she is wearing sandals. Yeah they have heels, but when someone says "high heels" I think of court shoes / pumps. Most of the photos are not flattering in what she's wearing but she appears to have a good body.

So, if she would greet me in civvie clothers, not lingerie, and closed shoes, not necessarily with heels, it may be a possibility.
 
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#15
Anything that hints at her taking a singular perspective and assumptions on male sexuality. The "all guys love this" approach. No, let's discuss what I want and am prepared to pay for.

Her chosen name. I don't want a cumslut, I want a woman taking a professional approach to discussing, agreeing, and delivering my preferred sexual activities.

Any proclamation that she'll be the "best". I'll be the judge of that, and women saying that have never been able deliver.

Statements attempting to differentiate herself from other SPs in a disparaging way.

Statements attempting to distance herself from the notion of "prostitution", and / or qualifying statements to justify herself and that she doesn't need to do sex work. I already assume many SPs have alternative careers, qualifications, accomplishments, etc but stating them in a profile hints at discomfort in engaging in sex work. That's a deterrent.

Responses to neutral or negative AW feedback that are rude, insulting, aggressive, counter-allegations, etc. If they can't express themselves and resolve difference / difficulties in a reasonable manner, then I have no confidence that they'd respond appropriately any difficulties arising in the punt.

Specific to bdsm / kink. Profile text discussing and offering services in ways that indicate they don't know the necessary information on activities, safety, boundaries, consent, etc.
 
#16
Another one, looks much better as she wears closed shoes however 2 things:
- She's been on the site a whole year and zero feedback. Must be a reason for that
- Looking up the id on another site, I find a completely different woman behind that profile number.
 
#17
When their answers to their FAQs are just too long.
For example: Do you do BB.
Answer should be: No
Answer given: No, I value my health and so should you. The percentage of infections caused by unprotected sex, as stated by Claptown University, is exponentially greater when the angle of the dangle is more/less -2 squared to the size of the prize.
If you ask you will be blocked, your Blue Peter badge revoked, and your number published on the Bareback Bertie escort protection site.
 
#18
When their answers to their FAQs are just too long.
For example: Do you do BB.
Answer should be: No
Answer given: No, I value my health and so should you. The percentage of infections caused by unprotected sex, as stated by Claptown University, is exponentially greater when the angle of the dangle is more/less -2 squared to the size of the prize.
If you ask you will be blocked, your Blue Peter badge revoked, and your number published on the Bareback Bertie escort protection site.
Now this one I might pick, a bit of comedy in a profile goes a long way!
 
#23
1) Can't communicate in full sentences...see: "you avail?"
2) Talks down/puts down other SPs.
3) Can't use adult words to request adult services but still expects to get those adult services.
4) Overuse of crass language and in-depth details about services all while clearly wanking their wee chipolatas.
5) Offering more money to do services you clearly don't provide. Boundary pushing in comms means boundary pushing in person.
6) Using feedback/reviews as a way to threaten you into providing services.
7) Attempts to get you to give your services for free...jog on!
 
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#25
An obvious one for me is him wanting to play text tennis. Whether it results in a booking or not, I’m way too busy for that ;) Also if he has a huge cock, which for some reason many that do love to brag as if it will result in a definite booking. And like some have said, just that gut feeling
 
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#27
I think I'll pick a random profile and say what I find wrong with it. I won't say which profile it is.

So I picked one which might have been a candidate: Positives: local, normal hourly rate, some feedback. Actually similar locale to my regular, same rate, about same age. Has the same "stupid" rating system too: 30 mins 80, 1hr 120, 1.5 hrs 200... Why make 1.5 hours more than 1.5 times an hour? With my reg I do 30 mins almost every booking and never do 90 mins. Longer bookings remain as £120 for each hour so no point making longer bookings.

Not a lot of words in the profile... so quite good on that albeit she addresses as "my baby boy". "I am a crazy lover who will always welcome you in sexy lingerie, high heels...".

Has a few photos in the gallery but the only one that shows her footwear properly she is wearing sandals. Yeah they have heels, but when someone says "high heels" I think of court shoes / pumps. Most of the photos are not flattering in what she's wearing but she appears to have a good body.

So, if she would greet me in civvie clothers, not lingerie, and closed shoes, not necessarily with heels, it may be a possibility.
They can charge what they like and it might be because she doesn’t want to do 1.5 hours. Bit weird especially when you say you only really do 30 mins and never 1.5 hours.

As for your obsession with fucking shoes on this post and your subsequent one, that wasn’t really the point of this thread. If you expect every profile to appeal to you and your shoe fetish, then I’d suggest going onto a niche website as it’s a niche fetish.
 
#28
In no particular order

"Party" Girl
Dick pics (bonus NO points for no condom on the dick if shagging)
Gallons of spunk flying around in pics
"Slight" Sp's who play to their very child-like look. Massive NOPE for me.
Loadsa tattoo's
ASCII art profile
No kissing
Lack of basic detail on the profile

There's bound to be plenty more (and some mentioned above) but thems the ones that spring to mind
didn't know what it was called but that's one thing I don't really like
 
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4,566
#29
I guess for me IM pretty tolerant but mine includes

YoYo pricing.........keep it simple cos if you do not know what youre worth how can I make a value judgement? Price elasticity isny elastic wi me
Nae face pics anywhere.......leap of faith......cummon!
Nae UKP reviews no a total killer but 246 AW positives instead.......?.........really:lol: hardly tips the scales.......
too many hurdles in the profile.......if youre no liking the job fkk off an do something you enjoy?
poor comms........at all stages.......my time is precious an worth more than your charging so dinny fkk me about..........

simples........Eh?......
 
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2,442
#30
Describing themselves as cum sluts:unknown:
Saying they are petite when they are not, saying they are 25 and they are 40 when you turn up.:blush:

I have nothing against neither but just be honest as i'll probably pick you even more for being honest
 
#31
Ok...
Ladies, what about a punters approach to booking you makes you go nah?
A separate thread makes more sense as they are distinctly different topics. You could follow @Bav 's template for OP creation, no need for it to be hard work!

Both topics have been done on UKE before, most likely several times, and are well within the site rules and ethos.
 
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4,566
#32
An obvious one for me is him wanting to play text tennis. Whether it results in a booking or not, I’m way too busy for that ;) Also if he has a huge cock, which for some reason many that do love to brag as if it will result in a definite booking. And like some have said, just that gut feeling
keep comms simple an brief....its fkkn business...?
 
#34
I guess for me IM pretty tolerant but mine includes

YoYo pricing.........keep it simple cos if you do not know what youre worth how can I make a value judgement? Price elasticity isny elastic wi me
Nae face pics anywhere.......leap of faith......cummon!
Nae UKP reviews no a total killer but 246 AW positives instead.......?.........really:lol: hardly tips the scales.......
too many hurdles in the profile.......if youre no liking the job fkk off an do something you enjoy?
poor comms........at all stages.......my time is precious an worth more than your charging so dinny fkk me about..........

simples........Eh?......
So the women have to out themselves to get your money?
Glad I don't show mine then.
 
Messages
4,566
#35
Describing themselves as cum sluts:unknown:
Saying they are petite when they are not, saying they are 25 and they are 40 when you turn up.:blush:

I have nothing against neither but just be honest as i'll probably pick you even more for being honest
true cos some days I fancy a young lassie an some an older one......so theres room for all ages ne?.......
 
#38
A separate thread makes more sense as they are distinctly different topics. You could follow @Bav 's template for OP creation, no need for it to be hard work!

Both topics have been done on UKE before, most likely several times, and are well within the site rules and ethos.
I would have gone with seperate threads but OP used the one and only line where he states SP and SS so.....
 
Messages
4,566
#40
I chat a lot with my regs, especially during lockdown but there are so many bloody TW out there :mad:
my motto is keep it brief.......a reg Ive seen for years gets a txt the day before to confirm our arrangement ....an guess what she never txts if its no business.......perfect....we do our larking an chat on the day..........customer care for me is being reliable an fkkn my brains out at the meet.........simples......:cool:
 
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3,537
#47
I'm not knocking it. I wish I could show my face. But if that's the way you do your punting, you are missing out on a lot of lovely ladies who haven't chosen to show their face for multiple reasons. And I'm not saying you should pick them, just that you're limiting yourself.
I don't need a face picture and as a rule I generally advise against it.

Lots of lunatics are in the land of punt
 
#51
Size 12 clothes which have elasticated waists
..... the photo not matching the dress size information .. I realise there isn't a shop standard size 12 brand but sometimes the reality bears little resemblance to reality of the printed number
 
Messages
4,566
#53
I'm not knocking it. I wish I could show my face. But if that's the way you do your punting, you are missing out on a lot of lovely ladies who haven't chosen to show their face for multiple reasons. And I'm not saying you should pick them, just that you're limiting yourself.
understand and lassies can of course run their business the way they want.......but for me if Im paying a lot I want to know what Im getting........Im no really bothered about looks or age verses will she put in a shift an earn her fee?.......but as its an intimate profession an if a lassie is no reviewed by someone who I think is credible then I want proof.........
 
#54
Size 12 clothes which have elasticated waists
..... the photo not matching the dress size information .. I realise there isn't a shop standard size 12 brand but sometimes the reality bears little resemblance to reality of the printed number
I have had 2 punters elsewhere claim I am bigger than I advertise. To the point I've had to show people clothing labels. But my wardrobe consists of clothing from size 10 to size 16 from various stores and various countries and my photos clearly show I am carrying a little extra. So how is it fair if they get to lie unchallenged about our sizes?
 
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#65
- Not reading my profile. Women/escorts come in all different shapes, sizes and looks, and we don't all offer the same services, so why aren't you checking this stuff before even thinking about spaffing your cash. 🤔

-Telling me their life story in the initial email (A4 page long emails are totally unnecessary. Just a friendly hello and what you're after will suffice, thank you). 😜

- Bigging themselves up when initially making contact (degree educated, very attractive, big cock, orgasm expert etc). Lawd save me. 🙄

- They have their own AW SP profile set up complete with cock pics.

- Throwing a wobbly because I haven't replied to a message within 5 seconds flat, and sending me a "and????" as a follow up. And bye 👋
 
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#66
I'm not knocking it. I wish I could show my face. But if that's the way you do your punting, you are missing out on a lot of lovely ladies who haven't chosen to show their face for multiple reasons. And I'm not saying you should pick them, just that you're limiting yourself.
Just a question about showing face pics. If a lady does not show her face, is it fair for a punter to walk if he has booked by the body photos but doesn’t like the face when he arrives?

Not happened to me yet, but would I walk? No idea until it happens.
 
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1,419
#67
Describing themselves as cum sluts:unknown:
Saying they are petite when they are not, saying they are 25 and they are 40 when you turn up.:blush:

I have nothing against neither but just be honest as i'll probably pick you even more for being honest
If you turn up surely you've already made the booking so you hadnt been put off
 
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614
#71
I'm not knocking it. I wish I could show my face. But if that's the way you do your punting, you are missing out on a lot of lovely ladies who haven't chosen to show their face for multiple reasons. And I'm not saying you should pick them, just that you're limiting yourself.
I saw lady from this forum last year .. her pics never showed her face ,, but when she opened the door - my jaw must have dropped -
she was gorgeous
 
#77
An obvious one for me is him wanting to play text tennis. Whether it results in a booking or not, I’m way too busy for that ;)
A couple of years ago I booked a lady in South Wales about 3 days in advance. I got endless saucey texts on the day asking me to get her warmed up. It really irritated me as I genuinely was busy. She almost cancelled the booking as I had not responded.
Only time this has happened to me
 
#78
They do some great lingerie though
Lingerie if that is your requirement, of course sounds good but if you have a uniform request, the cheap Halloween stuff doesn't do it for me personally. I got a regular a full set of authentic School Uniform seven years ago and it is still in use today with a lot of mileage on the clock. Certainly better value than an Anna Summers set up.
 
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#80
Lingerie if that is your requirement, of course sounds good but if you have a uniform request, the cheap Halloween stuff doesn't do it for me personally. I got a regular a full set of authentic School Uniform seven years ago and it is still in use today with a lot of mileage on the clock. Certainly better value than an Anna Summers set up.
I agree. So much better to put your own together.
I loved making costumes for my girls at school. I do them for myself now 😉
 
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1,340
#81
The photos that look like a drone took them
😂 The MySpace angle. There's literally no excuse for an escort to only have pics like those in this day and age. You can sit a camera phone on a table and take a full length body shot from a proper angle. All of them have timer functions. It just looks like a deliberate attempt to hide the body and deceive clients. Which is doubly stupid, because clients don't all go for the same thing, so they're missing out on those looking specifically for them. Terrible marketing! First rule of marketing should be showing off what you've got to offer, whatever that may be. (I don't mean naked pics). There's a market for everyone.
 
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3,489
#83
A couple of years ago I booked a lady in South Wales about 3 days in advance. I got endless saucey texts on the day asking me to get her warmed up. It really irritated me as I genuinely was busy. She almost cancelled the booking as I had not responded.
Only time this has happened to me
Oh I don’t go for that stuff either. It doesn’t take me a lot to get going so no need for dirty talk. It actually puts me off
 
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298
#85
“I don’t see black I’m not racist, honestly, but I’ve had bad experiences with a few, so I won’t see any of them.”

Party girl.

Rimming (giving).

Very poor English fluency on profile—only because I tend to do long bookings so the ability to chat is important to me.
 
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1,340
#86
A couple of years ago I booked a lady in South Wales about 3 days in advance. I got endless saucey texts on the day asking me to get her warmed up. It really irritated me as I genuinely was busy. She almost cancelled the booking as I had not responded.
Only time this has happened to me
As I'm not neurotypcal, dirty talk and sexting does nothing for me and it's why I can't and won't reciprocate. I get why others are into it, but like people who speak in metaphors, it just makes me go *puzzled face*
 
#87
Her being totally gorgeous and awesome in every manner but her location being in Scotland (or anywhere else that's too far to get to) is often a barrier for me.
It would be a barrier for lots of punters but if that's where she lives then that's where she lives...

And if she's that "gorgeous and awesome" then there are such things as trains.
 
#90
Just a question about showing face pics. If a lady does not show her face, is it fair for a punter to walk if he has booked by the body photos but doesn’t like the face when he arrives?

Not happened to me yet, but would I walk? No idea until it happens.
Isn't it basic knowledge that a punter can walk for any reason he chooses? And isn't there plenty proof elsewhere that punters do so...?
 
#93
Just a question about showing face pics. If a lady does not show her face, is it fair for a punter to walk if he has booked by the body photos but doesn’t like the face when he arrives?

Not happened to me yet, but would I walk? No idea until it happens.
You can always walk, but if you've booked on the basis there are no face pics, turn up and all that is amiss is that facially she isn't as you had imagined, then no I wouldn't walk. If the info given has not been misleading, I'm not seeing why the escort us in the wrong here.

I do prefer some sort of face pic, one where she doesn't completely give away her identity is fine with me.
 
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#97
I've shied away from profiles that state some services will cost extra (which isn't a red flag in itself) but there's no clarification of what that cost is.
 
#98
You can always walk, but if you've booked on the basis there are no face pics, turn up and all that is amiss is that facially she isn't as you had imagined, then no I wouldn't walk. If the info given has not been misleading, I'm not seeing why the escort us in the wrong here.

I do prefer some sort of face pic, one where she doesn't completely give away her identity is fine with me.
I’m sorry but if she’s a complete munter that curdles milk then I’ll be walking. It might be the reason why there aren’t any face pics.
 
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