Reasons for being a sub?

Messages
3,489
#1
Question mainly for the girls.

I was having a chat today with a girl (not an escort) on Chaturbate today.
She was saying that she's quite submissive and likes her bf to tie her up etc, the subject then got onto role play rape scenarios and she said that amongst her female friends it's quite a common fantasy.

The interesting thing was her theory which is that society stereotypes girls into being demure and not taking the initiative in sexual matters and that it is deemed that "nice girls don't enjoy sex" From this assumption she postulated that because girls have been thus brainwashed, then if they are tied up, forced to have sex etc, that it's not something that they have any choice in and therefore can't be seen as being the initiators of sex and are then free to enjoy it.

It's an interesting theory, I have only put it here to stimulate discussion and it's always good for us guys to get a bit of an idea of how you girls think about things.
I daresay that there will be some quite strong views on this.

Guys comments welcome too, but lets allow the girls to get a few punches in first! :rolleyes:

(Any ideas or views expressed above are not necessarily those of Sam)
 
L

~LittleMissOrla~

Guest
#3
I disagree with that reasoning. I have no problem with initiating sex and I wouldn't be openly admitting to my friends that I'm an escort if I thought of sex as "bad" or "naughty." Plus there are many dommes out there that wouldn't be explained by this theory at all.

I'm very much in control in my personal life and my last job was in management but I love to have somebody dominating me sexually. That feeling of letting go (can't think of a better phrase) is amazing. I also love the pain that can come with it, it's so tied up with pleasure for me (spanking, candle wax, things like that) and the "punishment" aspects have nothing to do with societal views of sex in my mind.
 
Messages
3,489
#4
I disagree with that reasoning. I have no problem with initiating sex and I wouldn't be openly admitting to my friends that I'm an escort if I thought of sex as "bad" or "naughty." Plus there are many dommes out there that wouldn't be explained by this theory at all.

I'm very much in control in my personal life and my last job was in management but I love to have somebody dominating me sexually. That feeling of letting go (can't think of a better phrase) is amazing. I also love the pain that can come with it, it's so tied up with pleasure for me (spanking, candle wax, things like that) and the "punishment" aspects have nothing to do with societal views of sex in my mind.
Well I guessed as much.
It also doesn't explain why guys like sub games.

I'm not into the leather/rubber clad standard issue dominatrix, in fact find it quite a turn off, but I would love to try some things with one of my regulars who is actually very sub with me! I like the idea of being spanked/caned or forced to pleasure her (wouldnt need much persuading tho)
 
Messages
15,239
#5
I disagree with that reasoning. I have no problem with initiating sex and I wouldn't be openly admitting to my friends that I'm an escort if I thought of sex as "bad" or "naughty." Plus there are many dommes out there that wouldn't be explained by this theory at all.

I'm very much in control in my personal life and my last job was in management but I love to have somebody dominating me sexually. That feeling of letting go (can't think of a better phrase) is amazing. I also love the pain that can come with it, it's so tied up with pleasure for me (spanking, candle wax, things like that) and the "punishment" aspects have nothing to do with societal views of sex in my mind.
Exactly I agree with this :)
I have an out ward personality I am in no way weak or desperate as I've mentioned a few times " strength and trust " .
I don't submit fully for just anyone that takes years to build to give yourself completely and let go.
I serve I give to please and to earn respect If respect isn't earned then that's were correction comes into it the pain , now pain is sooo close to sex they morph into the same thing the release and emotion is something I cant explain "I'm still learning new things everyday about myself " .
The emotion that comes from it is like a drug I've been that high while being flogged within an inch I cried so much after it I didn't know how to divide my feelings up " subdrop" what goes up must come down .
There is so many aspects to a subs life but in no way are we weak in fact we are strong :)
 
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Messages
3,489
#6
Exactly I agree with this :)
I have an out ward personality I am in no way weak or desperate as I've mentioned a few times " strength and trust " .
I don't submit fully for just anyone that takes years to build to give yourself completely and let go.
I serve I give to please and to earn respect .
If respect isn't earned then that's were correction comes into it the pain , now pain is sooo close to sex they morph into the same thing the release and emotion is something I cant explain "I'm still learning new things " .
The emotion that comes from it is like a drug I've been that high while being flogged within an inch I cried so much after it I didn't know how to divide my feelings up " subdrop" what goes up must come down .
There is so many aspects to a subs life but in no way are we weak in fact we are strong :)
Yeah I can really get the pain/pleasure adrenalin type thing.
I think women are capable of experiencing much deeper sexual emotions than men but I have got quite carried away sometimes1
I don't know whether she was actually saying that it's a weakness thing, but it is a bit of a half assed theory!
She's a 19 year old high school student so hasn't had much time to get a lot of life experience.
 
J

jonboy

Guest
#7
I disagree with that reasoning. I have no problem with initiating sex and I wouldn't be openly admitting to my friends that I'm an escort if I thought of sex as "bad" or "naughty." Plus there are many dommes out there that wouldn't be explained by this theory at all.

I'm very much in control in my personal life and my last job was in management but I love to have somebody dominating me sexually. That feeling of letting go (can't think of a better phrase) is amazing. I also love the pain that can come with it, it's so tied up with pleasure for me (spanking, candle wax, things like that) and the "punishment" aspects have nothing to do with societal views of sex in my mind.
Exactly I agree with this :)
I have an out ward personality I am in no way weak or desperate as I've mentioned a few times " strength and trust " .
I don't submit fully for just anyone that takes years to build to give yourself completely and let go.
I serve I give to please and to earn respect If respect isn't earned then that's were correction comes into it the pain , now pain is sooo close to sex they morph into the same thing the release and emotion is something I cant explain "I'm still learning new things everyday about myself " .
The emotion that comes from it is like a drug I've been that high while being flogged within an inch I cried so much after it I didn't know how to divide my feelings up " subdrop" what goes up must come down .
There is so many aspects to a subs life but in no way are we weak in fact we are strong :)
I consider myself to be a mentally strong person, more than capable of expressing an opinion, however sexually I do enjoy being sub (and look at the powerful and famous get caught out visiting Dominatrices) so I don't see why there should be any Daily Mail psychological reason for a woman to feel the same
 
L

~LittleMissOrla~

Guest
#8
Yeah I can really get the pain/pleasure adrenalin type thing.
I think women are capable of experiencing much deeper sexual emotions than men but I have got quite carried away sometimes1
I don't know whether she was actually saying that it's a weakness thing, but it is a bit of a half assed theory!
She's a 19 year old high school student so hasn't had much time to get a lot of life experience.
She's not a psychology student is she? I think it's sometimes easy to state a broad assumption, particularly one you might have heard elsewhere, when it seems feasible on the surface but is far more nuanced when you think a little deeper.
 
#9
Honestly, if is just part of who I am. I switch, but have only been switching for the last year or so and previous to that considered myself submissive. I think it's quite difficult to work out WHY you like something, as breaking it down isn't always productive. I just know it is something I need in life and so I embrace it!
 
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