Fellow Married Punters - Why Do You Punt?

J

johnnyboy61

Guest
#1
A recent thread asking WGs how many of their clients are married hinted at this question so I thought I'd ask it outright. I guess in many ways the married punter has most to lose from any of the groups involved by being outed (or maybe not, but that discussion is for another thread) and I wondered why we thought the risk was worth taking and how we justify our actions, or perhaps we don't and carry the burden of our guilt around with us when we see escorts? Or are there some married punters whose partners know they punt and condone it?

For me I guess my story is quite common amongst married punters and I dare say many of us have similar stories to tell. My wife and I met quite young (I was just still in my teens) and we were both virgins. The first time was the usual rather awkward scenario and a bit painful with blood on the sheets and the panic of getting them through the washing machine before my parents got home, but once we got started we were at it like rabbits. I remember one afternoon at her parent's house fingering her to a climax in the living room in the time that her mother took to go and make a cup of tea in the kitchen! So I certainly had no idea that I was entering a sexless relationship.

After a few years we got married, although there were signs of an eating disorder a couple of years prior to this as a way of coping with stress, nothing to do directly with our relationship, but career related, which seemed to stem back to before we met. After we were married I seemed to be getting the "not tonight" cold shoulder more often than not, and after a while it was easier not to ask than face continual rejection. When eventually it was time for children things suddenly picked up, unfortunately though we seemed to be good fertile breeders and soon there was again no reason in her eyes to have sex especially as the bulimia had still not gone away (and still hasn't).

Things took a terminal decline after children and so after ten years of marriage I'd finally had enough of being virtually celibate. Was I going to go to my grave having lived a sexually unfulfilling life? Surely sex was a human-right that I was being denied through no fault of my own; almost a life-force essential for our well-being? Fair enough if you have chosen a life of celibacy, but I hadn't joined a monastery, but yet was getting as little sex (or possibly less in some cases) than a monk.

I could see that an affair would be devastating if found out and would also mean that I would be pulled apart emotionally, and even if undiscovered I would still probably have to make a decision at some point. Thus I decided that I could justify paying for sex so that this part of my life could once again be fulfilled, but didn't impinge upon the other areas as there was no emotional involvement. To tell you the truth I can't truthfully say that there has been no emotional involvement at all because I have met some lovely ladies over the twenty plus years some of whom I can't honestly say that I haven't cared for, but our relationships have been strictly within the confines of our paid meets.

It's very easy to condemn married punters as being morally corrupt, especially from a viewpoint of those outside of the industry who view it all as a rather sordid business anyway. As far as I'm concerned the sex that I have with WGs is to be celebrated and I feel lucky that there are some great ladies out there who have chosen it as a career (whether short or longer term), but of course I still wouldn't want to face the consequences at home if I was caught out even though our lovely children are now in their twenties. I suspect that many of you have many similar stories to tell (apologies for the length of mine), but it would be good to hear if there are other reasons or if you have a similar story.
 
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#2
A recent thread asking WGs how many of their clients are married hinted at this question so I thought I'd ask it outright. I guess in many ways the married punter has most to lose from any of the groups involved by being outed (or maybe not, but that discussion is for another thread) and I wondered why we thought the risk was worth taking and how we justify our actions, or perhaps we don't and carry the burden of our guilt around with us when we see escorts? Or are there some married punters whose partners know they punt and condone it?

For me I guess my story is quite common amongst married punters and I dare say many of us have similar stories to tell. My wife and I met quite young (I was just still in my teens) and we were both virgins. The first time was the usual rather awkward scenario and a bit painful with blood on the sheets and the panic of getting them through the washing machine before my parents got home, but once we got started we were at it like rabbits. I remember one afternoon at her parent's house fingering her to a climax in the living room in the time that her mother took to go and make a cup of tea in the kitchen! So I certainly had no idea that I was entering a sexless relationship.

After a few years we got married, although there were signs of an eating disorder a couple of years prior to this as a way of coping with stress, nothing to do directly with our relationship, but career related, which seemed to stem back to before we met. After we were married I seemed to be getting the "not tonight" cold shoulder more often than not, and after a while it was easier not to ask than face continual rejection. When eventually it was time for children things suddenly picked up, unfortunately though we seemed to be good fertile breeders and soon there was again no reason in her eyes to have sex especoally as the bulimia had still not gone away (and still hasn't).

Things took a terminal decline after children and so after ten years of marriage I'd finally had enough of being virtually celibate. Was I going to go to my grave having lived a sexually unfulfilling life? Surely sex was a human-right that I was being denied through no fault of my own; almost a life-force essential for our well-being? Fair enough if you have chosen a life of celibacy, but I hadn't joined a monastery, but yet was getting as little sex (or possibly less in some cases) than a monk.

I could see that an affair would be devastating if found out and would also mean that I would be pulled apart emotionally, and even if undiscovered I would still probably have to make a decision at some point. Thus I decided that I could justify paying for sex so that this part of my life could once again be fulfilled, but didn't impinge upon the other areas as there was no emotional involvement. To tell you the truth I can't truthfully say that there has been no emotional involvement at all because I have met some lovely ladies over the twenty plus years some of whom I can't honestly say that I haven't cared for, but our relationships have been strictly within the confines of our paid meets.

It's very easy to condemn married punters as being morally corrupt, especially from a viewpoint of those outside of the industry who view it all as a rather sordid business anyway. As far as I'm concerned the sex that I have with WGs is to be celebrated and I feel lucky that there are some great ladies out there who have chosen it as a career (whether short or longer term), but of course I still wouldn't want to face the consequences at home if I was caught out even though our lovely children are now in their twenties. I suspect that many of you have many similar stories to tell (apologies for the length of mine), but it would be good to hear if there are other reasons or if you have a similar story.
Fuck me (Not literally :sarcastic:) this is almost a replica of what happened to me.At the end of the day too many people get married too young and their sex lives suffer later on. We all have our needs and when you constantly keep trying at home and get next to nothing,couples will drift apart or look elsewhere .:dash:
Obviously I have other reasons for being separated from my wife than just sex,but sex is is a major issue (or lack of sex) :unknown:
 
Messages
138
#3
after a while it was easier not to ask than face continual rejection.
This bit really resonated with me. I actually feel like our relationship has improved since I started punting. No more arguments about lack of sex. The rest of our relationship is great anyway. One of the hardest things I find is that I have these great experiences and the one person I want to share my stories with I can't. I'd love to tell her what a great time I've had on a punt but obviously never would! It's weird not being able to share something with her. I actually think she'd be kind of relieved someone else was doing the work for her, probably be more pissed off about the money lol.
 
E

EnglishPhoebe

Guest
#6
This bit really resonated with me. I actually feel like our relationship has improved since I started punting. No more arguments about lack of sex. The rest of our relationship is great anyway. One of the hardest things I find is that I have these great experiences and the one person I want to share my stories with I can't. I'd love to tell her what a great time I've had on a punt but obviously never would! It's weird not being able to share something with her. I actually think she'd be kind of relieved someone else was doing the work for her, probably be more pissed off about the money lol.
Do you not think she wonders why you aren't arguing about it anymore? Just curious, you don't have to answer :)
 
J

johnnyboy61

Guest
#10
This bit really resonated with me. I actually feel like our relationship has improved since I started punting. No more arguments about lack of sex. The rest of our relationship is great anyway. One of the hardest things I find is that I have these great experiences and the one person I want to share my stories with I can't. I'd love to tell her what a great time I've had on a punt but obviously never would! It's weird not being able to share something with her. I actually think she'd be kind of relieved someone else was doing the work for her, probably be more pissed off about the money lol.
Yes, if anything I feel much more guilt about the money than having sex with other women. The trouble is if you want no-strings sex it is by far the least complicated and most straightforward way of getting it.
 
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Messages
138
#13
Do you not think she wonders why you aren't arguing about it anymore? Just curious, you don't have to answer :)
A good question and something I am wary of. I will actually make a point of showing some faux frustration from time to time! Recently the sex has nose dived even further due to her extra work commitments. I'm trying to support her through this tough period so my pressuring her for sex less actually makes me look good ;)
 
Messages
9,468
#14
There are a lot of truths on this thread but also, I think, a lot of half truths, a lot of hidden stories. A lot us probably don't want to admit it but we are simply driven by a basic need that is quite overwhelming. It goes to the core of our being. As a species we are not monogomous, society encourages the son to find himself a wife blah blah. Then the to have and to hold bit doesnt quite pan out. Love can die, sex can be difficult due to gynochological problems, the Partner has a low sex drive, the partner is ill or passes away, I could go on.

At the end of the day there is man with a need to fill or he becomes just another sad fuck like so many I see in my town. Punting has rejuvenated me. In all other aspects of my life I am better. Yes there will be some on here who are just doing it because they are randy as hell. But for many there simply is no other choice except celebacy, and that is a death sentence.:scare:
 
#15
There are a lot of truths on this thread but also, I think, a lot of half truths, a lot of hidden stories. A lot us probably don't want to admit it but we are simply driven by a basic need that is quite overwhelming. It goes to the core of our being. As a species we are not monogomous, society encourages the son to find himself a wife blah blah. Then the to have and to hold bit doesnt quite pan out. Love can die, sex can be difficult due to gynochological problems, the Partner has a low sex drive, the partner is ill or passes away, I could go on.

At the end of the day there is man with a need to fill or he becomes just another sad fuck like so many I see in my town. Punting has rejuvenated me. In all other aspects of my life I am better. Yes there will be some on here who are just doing it because they are randy as hell. But for many there simply is no other choice except celebacy, and that is a death sentence.:scare:
You hit the nail on the head,especoally with the last paragraph :hi::thumbsup:
 
E

EnglishPhoebe

Guest
#16
A good question and something I am wary of. I will actually make a point of showing some faux frustration from time to time! Recently the sex has nose dived even further due to her extra work commitments. I'm trying to support her through this tough period so my pressuring her for sex less actually makes me look good ;)
It's possible she knows and is relieved. I'm at least sure that's the case sometimes, even if not in yours.
 
Messages
3,814
#19
There are a lot of truths on this thread but also, I think, a lot of half truths, a lot of hidden stories. A lot us probably don't want to admit it but we are simply driven by a basic need that is quite overwhelming. It goes to the core of our being. As a species we are not monogomous, society encourages the son to find himself a wife blah blah. Then the to have and to hold bit doesnt quite pan out. Love can die, sex can be difficult due to gynochological problems, the Partner has a low sex drive, the partner is ill or passes away, I could go on.

At the end of the day there is man with a need to fill or he becomes just another sad fuck like so many I see in my town. Punting has rejuvenated me. In all other aspects of my life I am better. Yes there will be some on here who are just doing it because they are randy as hell. But for many there simply is no other choice except celebacy, and that is a death sentence.:scare:
So true, it has certainly rejuvenated one aspect of my life.
 
Messages
138
#21
It's possible she knows and is relieved. I'm at least sure that's the case sometimes, even if not in yours.
I don't think she does but I totally get where you're coming from. In a way I hope she does. Obviously better that she's relieved than kicking my arse out on the street!
 
Messages
7,356
#24
A recent thread asking WGs how many of their clients are married hinted at this question so I thought I'd ask it outright. I guess in many ways the married punter has most to lose from any of the groups involved by being outed (or maybe not, but that discussion is for another thread) and I wondered why we thought the risk was worth taking and how we justify our actions, or perhaps we don't and carry the burden of our guilt around with us when we see escorts? Or are there some married punters whose partners know they punt and condone it?

For me I guess my story is quite common amongst married punters and I dare say many of us have similar stories to tell. My wife and I met quite young (I was just still in my teens) and we were both virgins. The first time was the usual rather awkward scenario and a bit painful with blood on the sheets and the panic of getting them through the washing machine before my parents got home, but once we got started we were at it like rabbits. I remember one afternoon at her parent's house fingering her to a climax in the living room in the time that her mother took to go and make a cup of tea in the kitchen! So I certainly had no idea that I was entering a sexless relationship.

After a few years we got married, although there were signs of an eating disorder a couple of years prior to this as a way of coping with stress, nothing to do directly with our relationship, but career related, which seemed to stem back to before we met. After we were married I seemed to be getting the "not tonight" cold shoulder more often than not, and after a while it was easier not to ask than face continual rejection. When eventually it was time for children things suddenly picked up, unfortunately though we seemed to be good fertile breeders and soon there was again no reason in her eyes to have sex especially as the bulimia had still not gone away (and still hasn't).

Things took a terminal decline after children and so after ten years of marriage I'd finally had enough of being virtually celibate. Was I going to go to my grave having lived a sexually unfulfilling life? Surely sex was a human-right that I was being denied through no fault of my own; almost a life-force essential for our well-being? Fair enough if you have chosen a life of celibacy, but I hadn't joined a monastery, but yet was getting as little sex (or possibly less in some cases) than a monk.

I could see that an affair would be devastating if found out and would also mean that I would be pulled apart emotionally, and even if undiscovered I would still probably have to make a decision at some point. Thus I decided that I could justify paying for sex so that this part of my life could once again be fulfilled, but didn't impinge upon the other areas as there was no emotional involvement. To tell you the truth I can't truthfully say that there has been no emotional involvement at all because I have met some lovely ladies over the twenty plus years some of whom I can't honestly say that I haven't cared for, but our relationships have been strictly within the confines of our paid meets.

It's very easy to condemn married punters as being morally corrupt, especially from a viewpoint of those outside of the industry who view it all as a rather sordid business anyway. As far as I'm concerned the sex that I have with WGs is to be celebrated and I feel lucky that there are some great ladies out there who have chosen it as a career (whether short or longer term), but of course I still wouldn't want to face the consequences at home if I was caught out even though our lovely children are now in their twenties. I suspect that many of you have many similar stories to tell (apologies for the length of mine), but it would be good to hear if there are other reasons or if you have a similar story.
Great post :drinks:
 
Messages
15,502
#25
I punt for the sex me and the better half don't have, for reasons that are a bit too personal for here. I went without for a fair time and as mentioned above punting has improved a few aspects of my life - apart from financially! :dash:

I'm of the belief that more wives know than you guys realise. But that's just me :)
I've often thought she knows and turns a blind eye but I'm saying nowt just in case!
 
Messages
3,919
#26
Do you not think she wonders why you aren't arguing about it anymore? Just curious, you don't have to answer :)
I think you are closer to the truth than you may think. I've often thought she knows I'm up to something, she certainly knows I go off on my own when she's at work. But I think it's one of those situations that it's best if neither party mentions it; in denial perhaps. She's made the odd comment about me having a girlfriend etc but never follows up on it.
 
Messages
232
#28
So much of this is true to me too.

Rather than marrying early I misspent my youth which prevented me from the usual teenage tail chasing so when that period of my life ended I married and settled down very quickly but know after two children my sex life went down hill... I reached a point in my life where I decided there were things sexually that I wanted to try and I needed to stop being so shy and awkward around woman so I decided to take up punting as Pornhub wasn't cutting it so I took the leap, I feel it was rather inevitable really.

Dispite all I have to loose I am enjoying making these memories by trying amazing things and meeting great people.

I know a lot of people say it but I get to do things with beautiful woman who wouldn't look once at me on civvie street and if paying is what it takes so be it.

I have become all round more confidant in my life and work and I believe it has, in someways, helped my marriage.
 
Messages
19,054
#29
There's a lot to be said for sowing your wild oats and not marrying until late 20s/early 30s.

It is sad to hear how common it is for women to go so off sex though. I mean, I can understand during pregnancy, with young children etc. but not permanently. Surely if you turn off the tap you can't be surprised if your hubby goes elsewhere? So long as it was safe, I'd rather they used escorts than have an emotional affair.
 
Messages
18,961
#30
I think I'm a little different as I get more than my share at home. I punt to carry out the fantasies the Mrs won't get involved in, particularly where there's more than two involved....

tcm
 
Messages
232
#31
There's a lot to be said for sowing your wild oats and not marrying until late 20s/early 30s.

It is sad to hear how common it is for women to go so off sex though. I mean, I can understand during pregnancy, with young children etc. but not permanently. Surely if you turn off the tap you can't be surprised if your hubby goes elsewhere? So long as it was safe, I'd rather they used escorts than have an emotional affair.
Don't get me wrong, it's not all the OH fault... The sex at home became boring and with no desire to try new things then it was only a matter of one until I looked somewhere else for what I wanted. But I also don't want her doing things she's not happy with either.
 
Messages
138
#32
Don't get me wrong, it's not all the OH fault... The sex at home became boring and with no desire to try new things then it was only a matter of one until I looked somewhere else for what I wanted. But I also don't want her doing things she's not happy with either.
Yes same here really. There's always been a big difference in our sex drives, and it has probably slipped to once every 3 or 4 weeks now. Can that justify what I do? I don't know. But when you have sex so infrequently it becomes the same boring routine, with no willingness to try new things (which has always been there anyway). So by punting I've improved frequency, variety and get to indulge my fantasies. My sexual confidence, which I now realised had been shattered, has already been rebuilt. I feel good again and my home life has been boosted as a result. As others of said, I'd never risk an affair. Far too much to go wrong there. But from punting I've been surprised that it's actually passion and intimacy and things like kissing that I've actually enjoyed the most, when initially I set out to indulge some of my dirtier fantasies!
 
J

jonboy

Guest
#33
I hope not, but since this site has started she's occasionally given me a glance that says "what the f... are you doing?" as I tap posts out on my iPad.
There are a lot of truths in this thread, however I shall remain tight lipped in case someone I know is reading this, however the typing (on my phoneb) gets noticed occasionally:scare: however the trying not to laugh can be even harder (and that's yet another problem on here :dash:)
 
J

johnnyboy61

Guest
#35
, however the typing (on my phoneb) gets noticed occasionally:scare: however the trying not to laugh can be even harder (and that's yet another problem on here :dash:)
Yes, I have the same problem, wish I could be as funny as some of the members of UKE. Sometimes difficult to stifle my laughter.:sarcastic:
 
Messages
1,517
#36
Why do I punt....
Started off wanting to actually fist a girl (who wanted fisting) - still to do, been close very close on about 4 occasions. :P
This was the main driver, but then you get taken over by the urge to do things you cannot do with the Mrs, and the urge to fuck young girls, and a few very horny MILFs;)
This then for me turned into I am not going to die not having done this and this and then you think I wonder what sucking a cock is like and by the time your bucket list is nearly completed you are fuckin addicted...
So why do I punt...because I am addicted...:wacko:

Raddy
 
Messages
1,139
#37
Had a great sex life in my youth, met the wife (even better sex), had child (less sex), getting older slowed down and started eating (sex off the menu so turned to porn).

Recently lost most of the weight and regained my sex drive and wifey not really up for it very often.

Found AW then UKP and Hey Presto, Bob's your uncle.

Never dreamed I would be getting up to the stuff I am doing these days. I am rejuventated!
 
Messages
1,517
#38
Had a great sex life in my youth, met the wife (even better sex), had child (less sex), getting older slowed down and started eating (sex off the menu so turned to porn).

Recently lost most of the weight and regained my sex drive and wifey not really up for it very often.

Found AW then UKP and Hey Presto, Bob's your uncle. and Fannys your Aunt

Never dreamed I would be getting up to the stuff I am doing these days. I am rejuventated!
Raddy
 
Messages
1,517
#40
Oh, and I was desperate for Mrs Raddy to give me a good rimming, which obviously she would not, even oral on me stopped because evidently my cock is to close to my ass to be clean :wacko:
Anyway 15 very nice young ladies have given me the rimming I craved...oh and yes correct I am now addicted to receiving and giving Rimming

Raddy
 
Messages
9,468
#41
Why do I punt....
Started off wanting to actually fist a girl (who wanted fisting) - still to do, been close very close on about 4 occasions. :P
This was the main driver, but then you get taken over by the urge to do things you cannot do with the Mrs, and the urge to fuck young girls, and a few very horny MILFs;)
This then for me turned into I am not going to die not having done this and this and then you think I wonder what sucking a cock is like and by the time your bucket list is nearly completed you are fuckin addicted...
So why do I punt...because I am addicted...:wacko:

Raddy
Honest to a fault.:hi:

It is so much about just really wanting to do it than becoming like all those other guys around you who are either getting nothing or only getting it from the OH, and probably just a limited service at best. Unless you are very fortunate. I would die rather than ask the OH to do 90% of the things I do as a punter. :hi:
 
Messages
689
#42
Started as revenge for her having a one night stand.
Watching porn, saw a real punting video of sandy and raven from Manchester, then started to do some research.
Eventually plucked up the courage to book a woman ( http://kirstymanchesterescort.escortfiles.com/home tried to book sandy herself but she had just gone off the scene, Id left it too long ).
Couldn't believe I was actually progressing it and didn't stop myself, It was like there was someone else inside me and I was just a passenger . Even when I was in her apartment kissing her, I was on the verge of stopping and leaving, the guilt was overwhelming.
There are quite a few things wrong with my marriage, ( not sex, ironically, that's very good ) that I have tried over and over again to fix over the years without success.
I now do it for the excitement, it gets my pulse racing and I get to fuck stunning women that enjoy doing the filthiest things but who wouldn't look at me twice in the street.
If someone had told me 10 years ago I would be paying for it, I would have laughed my head off and said they were mental.
 
Messages
7,356
#43
Why do I punt....
Started off wanting to actually fist a girl (who wanted fisting) - still to do, been close very close on about 4 occasions. :P
This was the main driver, but then you get taken over by the urge to do things you cannot do with the Mrs, and the urge to fuck young girls, and a few very horny MILFs;)
This then for me turned into I am not going to die not having done this and this and then you think I wonder what sucking a cock is like and by the time your bucket list is nearly completed you are fuckin addicted...
So why do I punt...because I am addicted...:wacko:

Raddy
I have small hands. There is an outside chance that I might get to do something before Raddy! :dance:
 
Messages
187
#44
Well I was married and that went wrong with me spending time running two businesses seven days a week so we could have a good life, she showed her appreciation by having an affair which resulted in me loosing just about every penny I had, anyway I still had the need for sex but thought at the time seeing a WG was a con and there would be a big bloke waiting in the house to get any money I had or take my car keys so it took a while before I plucked up the courage to make that first visit and when I did it could not have gone better, she was amazing and that was me hooked, I have got a girlfriend now who is very fit has a great body with going to the gym every day but has little or no interest in sex so hence still punting, when I first started and realized not all WG's would try and con you I was like a kid in a sweet shop going through as many girls as I could I had a craving for seeing a different girl every time regardless how good the last one was I never went back, how times have changed as I have got over that now and get more satisfaction sticking with one girl and the sex is always great, I keep thinking about stopping but in reality I know I never will
 
#45
For me: Other half and I don't do the deed by a kind of mutual unspoken agreement. It would actually feel a bit too weird now as too much time has passed and we're more like flatmates than intimate partners. I hit 41, had had a rough few years and just decided life was too short to go without sex/physical intimacy/having electrodes attached to my nuts.

Much of this is probably my fault - this is the third time I've cohabited in my life and it always seems to go this way after about 3 years. Although is only recently I started doing this. I think I'm just a grass-is-greener-over-there type dude. I kid on to myself that if I met 'the one', I'd stop tomorrow and be the loyal BF/Husband. But I probably wouldn't be.
 
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