Embarrasing moments!

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1,514
#1
Or should I say embarrassing :dash:
You must of had one in your time of escorting or punting!
One of mine that springs to mind is going to an appointment, getting straight into it then about 10 mins into the appointment his family comes in. I had to hide under the bed naked, couldn't even get dressed as had about an inch of room to move. It was bloody freezing and had to spend about 30 mins hiding until he got rid of them. :blush:
what's yours? xx
 
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1,655
#3
Was early for a booking so called into a cafe for a mug of tea.
Arrived at the girls house and started to get the pangs that the tea had loosend me up a bit.
As we were on the bed I had to stop her and ask if I could pay a visit.
Unfortunately I also had a bit wind and sort of exploded.
When I came out the girl looked well pissed off and pointed towards the bathroom." The shower is in there".
We had a real good laugh about it and it finished of a decent punt.
I stick to water now
 
#5
I was going down on her, and deeply diving in her muff, when she started to wriggle violently and started to pull at my hair; I thought she was about to come, and tried to carry on, but she jerked my head back, and at that moment let out the most uproarious and rasping fart imaginable. She was terribly embarrassed, but fortunately it was relatively odourless, and after we had had a good laugh we were able to start again
 
#6
Best one that springs to mind is seeing a client "John"for a good few months.. Weekly basis working for NG in Hartlepool..
Anyway "david" comes to see me for an hour... And my next booking happens to be his brother "John" They notice the cars in the vicinity!! And the other brother still comes in and sees me and asks if that was his brother "just to be sure.." Embarrassing and awkward but so funny!!
 
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1,514
#7
Best one that springs to mind is seeing a client "John"for a good few months.. Weekly basis working for NG in Hartlepool..
Anyway "david" comes to see me for an hour... And my next booking happens to be his brother "John" They notice the cars in the vicinity!! And the other brother still comes in and sees me and asks if that was his brother "just to be sure.." Embarrassing and awkward but so funny!!

Illie I think that job me you and angel done at the Malmaison was a bit of a sticky situation but we wont go into that :cry:xx
 
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#13
In the afterglow of the post-coital chit chat it was reveal that the lady I who I had just been physical with was, well, she was the daughter of a woman who used to babysit my brothers and I when we were younger.
 
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#14
The guy who tipped a zip bag of crack on the bedside table then lit up as if it's was no big deal and I was too nervous to leave so held my sleeve over my face whilst giving him a blowjob

The guy who's future wife and mother in law started banging on the front door and the ensuring car chase around Kettering by said future wife and mother in law

The guy who's wife burst into the bedroom whilst we were at it in their bed

The guy who booked me at 6am after a busy night then I fell asleep while he was going down on me

The time I had to sit for the first twenty minutes whilst the guy folded up all the ferries nappies he had just dried

The guy who's NANA walked in on us as we were at it in the living room and I had to pretend I was the girlfriend

The one and only guy to book me for an ass milkshake

The double booking at a famous Oxford hotel when we didn't close the shower curtain properly and whilst we were doing it in the shower the bathroom floor filled up with so much water it went up and over the step up into the bedroom

Then there are all the guys who farted, followed trough after strap on, jizzed in their pants before they got them off , all the times I've fallen over my own feet, fallen off the bed, slipped over in the bath etc with clients

Mmmm there are too many to remember
 
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#15
Chloe. I've decided that you're THE best person on this here forum! Lol.

Blimey. All those stories. I'm surprised you've not had someone have a heart attack on you or something.
 
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#16
Chloe. I've decided that you're THE best person on this here forum! Lol.

Blimey. All those stories. I'm surprised you've not had someone have a heart attack on you or something.
No heart attacks thankfully,


The time I did a say hello in the parlour then tripped coming down the stairs, bounced the last three on my bum, a huge welt appeared immediatley, nice and purple, across my back side, girls had to hold bottles of milk on my bum to cool it down, the guy then picked me, I hobbled up the stairs and he said "are you okay Chloe?" as he heard the crash bump bump bump. At that point I burst into tears and wailed "noooo I hurt my bottom" . Bless, his face was priceless,especially when he saw my botty
 
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15,502
#17
Managing to swipe everything off the bedside cabinet in a hotel while changing positions - watch, drinks, condoms scattered everywhere..

On another hotel punt the hotel cocked up and gave me a room with 2 single beds and said they had no double rooms available, so I pushed the beds together. Mid shag, we flipped over from cowgirl to missionary, the WG ended up on the join, and promptly disappeared as the beds went their separate ways, leaving me shagging thin air and her in fits of laughter on the floor, unable to get up!
 
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1,655
#18
The guy who tipped a zip bag of crack on the bedside table then lit up as if it's was no big deal and I was too nervous to leave so held my sleeve over my face whilst giving him a blowjob

The guy who's future wife and mother in law started banging on the front door and the ensuring car chase around Kettering by said future wife and mother in law

The guy who's wife burst into the bedroom whilst we were at it in their bed

The guy who booked me at 6am after a busy night then I fell asleep while he was going down on me

The time I had to sit for the first twenty minutes whilst the guy folded up all the ferries nappies he had just dried

The guy who's NANA walked in on us as we were at it in the living room and I had to pretend I was the girlfriend

The one and only guy to book me for an ass milkshake

The double booking at a famous Oxford hotel when we didn't close the shower curtain properly and whilst we were doing it in the shower the bathroom floor filled up with so much water it went up and over the step up into the bedroom

Then there are all the guys who farted, followed trough after strap on, jizzed in their pants before they got them off , all the times I've fallen over my own feet, fallen off the bed, slipped over in the bath etc with clients

Mmmm there are too many to remember
You`re a bit of a jinx mind :lol:
 
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11,158
#19
You`re a bit of a jinx mind :lol:
Lol..I do hope not

Most of those, not all, occured during my first year of escorting when I worked for the now defunct but missed Charlies Angels outcall agency, much strangeness occurs in the dead of night on the outcall runs believe me. Its like a different world . Still...to me they are the good old days
 
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1,655
#20
I`ve just remembered this happening back in the 80s.
There was a girl who lived in a huge 3 storied house in the village I lived in who was always available after a night in the pub.
The only problem was she still lived with her parents.....they had the room at the top of the house and hers was on the 1st floor so you had to be mega quiet.
So this particular night,as Iam creeping out after an enjoyable session, I didn`t notice a roller skate that her little brother had left on one of the stairs.
So now,in mid air,Iam looking for something to steady my fall....The banister.....managed to pull it clean off the wall and landed with an almighty crash on a dinner gong that was at the bottom of the stairs.
Made a hasty retreat into the street minus a shoe....that I never got back.
 
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2,505
#21
this was about 10 yrs ago- i booked an mixed race escort from an agency- she was on the front cover of a porn mag- think it was knave or something.....it was an incall at a travelodge in newcastle quayside, me in boxers...about to start then knock on door- she ushers me into the toilet.....i hear a guy talking and am thinking its a pimp, defo a pimp am thinking!!....my wallet and watch left at the desk, i'm thinking he's robbing me or something so i jump out of toilet, in my boxers, guy looks at me perplexed, he's changing every rooms kettle, escort looks really cross thinking what are you doing and now compromising her incall. the punt after wasn't the best, girl face like with an evil scrowl whilst doing stuff on u- me thinking oh dear!
another story- having sex with an escort, was going through it as she wasn't much of a looker but i paid so on a plod.....she fucking farts an almighty boom, my dick went limp and the punt was dead- couldn't get it up no more and totally lost my mojo. credit to her, she tried to fuck me etc but nothing was turning me on- girls farting is the worst but they all do it.
 
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#22
I`ve just remembered this happening back in the 80s.
There was a girl who lived in a huge 3 storied house in the village I lived in who was always available after a night in the pub.
The only problem was she still lived with her parents.....they had the room at the top of the house and hers was on the 1st floor so you had to be mega quiet.
So this particular night,as Iam creeping out after an enjoyable session, I didn`t notice a roller skate that her little brother had left on one of the stairs.
So now,in mid air,Iam looking for something to steady my fall....The banister.....managed to pull it clean off the wall and landed with an almighty crash on a dinner gong that was at the bottom of the stairs.
Made a hasty retreat into the street minus a shoe....that I never got back.
Ha ha oh that would have been hilarious :)
 
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1,101
#23
My embarrassing punting moment to date, was emailing a WG who advertised an in call location 30 miles from my home town. After several numerous excellent, email exchanges, It turned out we were from the same town! Needless to say it went down hill from there for discretionary purposes... Oooops!!
 
#24
Mine has to be breaking the bed. I would like to say through vigorous activity but simply a very weak bed. Went to kneel on it and went straight through. Bruised all my foot. Luckily nothing else injured!!
 
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#25
I managed to give away my real name while speaking about myself in the third person - in TWO consecutive bookings!! First guy didn't say a word, second guy emailed me to ask if that was my real name and said he really liked it and it suited me *fluffy fluff fluff* (I denied it anyway), and he then gave up punting as he had a health scare (brain, I think) and realised his family was more important than having random things shoved up his cock.

I found it embarrassing cos I'm normally pretty well guarded!
 
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11,158
#26
I did this too re the real name, I used to work with a girl whos working name is my real name. I answered my phone and they said hello and my real name, I automatically said hello then they asked if they were ever going to be doing a two girl with Chloe :( at which moment I realised they had called the wrong number and had meant to phone my friend
 
#29
Fanny farting, Defo. If I've had a big willy up there or fingers up me in doggy position..... Welllllllllll haha. Worst thing is I can never stop it. Although I can also do it on demand haha. Probably TMI like
 
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#30
Two of my most embarrassing moments have been with Adele and almost immediately into my first ever punt..

I had read all the 'new punter guide' threads, got myself a punting phone and memorised my new persona so I was feeling well prepared but still nervous.

Through the door window Adele gave me a cheeky smile and I replied with a wave, which she returned.

She led me to her flat and inside she asked where I had travelled from, without pause, the first word out of my mouth to her was the name of my home town! The opposite of what I had planned and read as advice.

It is not a big deal to me now but at the time I remember thinking it was a disaster! :dash:

The other moment was whilst stepping out of a shared shower, I burned my hand on her super heated towel rail and screamed, and was the reason for the subsequent warning sign. :blush:

The most recent embarrassment is popping within the first five minutes of an appointment, in the condom after approx 30 seconds of OW.. Yes, it had been a while since my last punt! Should I return or never go back again to avoid the shame? :D
 
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#31
Today, luckily it wasn't with a new client.

Managed to knock two pictures off the wall and swipe everything off the beside cabinet, breaking the lamp in the process.
One of the canvases hit me on the head and my lovely client was just reaching the finishing line as it happened, causing me to burst out laughing at the crucial moment still on all fours. :wacko:
 
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#33
A hotel at heathrow for a 3 hour MFF. Lets say none of us were slim and he was on top of her and I was behind him using the strap on and the bed tilted as a leg fell off well we just carried on as you do and suddenly there was a huge bang as the other three legs came off. we just laughed and finished what we were doing but after we finished at 1AM I had to go to reception to ask for another room and explain that I was asleep when all four legs fell off for no reason. I used that hotel all the time but never went back after this
 
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#34
I just remembered another. I was with a girl I had seen many times, you could argue that we became friends (but I know we really weren't). Anyway, after receiving some wonderful oral I suggested 69.

Now, this lady loved her 69's and would grind herself right into your face. As we were "setting up", it quickly became clear that she had loads of tiny bits of toilet paper stuck to her ass. This seriously put me off my stride, and I just couldn't bring myself to let her know.

I don't know, what is the etiquette for such an occurrence? Would you girls prefer a client tell you? Luckily, for her, I was her last client of the day.
 
#35
Many years ago picking up a street girl in Caledonian Road. I was so excited at the prospects that lay ahead, whilst going through the width restriction I drove over the Kerb causing a puncture.
I stopped a little way up the road. The girl jumped out and left me.
Changing a tyre whilst all the girls came over to chat was not helping. I was paranoid that the police would turn up and arrest me....
 
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